hmm...

I always feel inspired when I'm driving. Why? Is it because I have time to think, time to breathe, time to decompress? Why is it that when I'm alone with my thoughts, free from phones ringing, work to finish, clothes to wash, or a house to clean, I could write a 1000 page dissertation on any given subject. However, today, as I sit and think: I should write something today-- I'm unispired. Lackluster.

On days like today when I seem to find myself in an "existential funk," I find it helpful to identify the feelings I'm experiencing. Today, for example, I feel cynical. Regardless of the reasons leading up to this feeling, that's where I've arrived. Cynicalville.

As an adolescent and even a young adult, I had these silver-lined ideologies that I held true. You know, the fairytale endings, perfect world, love-conquers-all ideologies. Today, however (also, I find it strange that on particularly cynical days I use the word "however" a lot...hah) I feel disillusioned, negative, and borderline hopeless.

Is it possible that along this road called life our pit-stops, also known as life experiences, are the source of our current jaded outlooks? What happened to those feelings of zealous wild-abandon and the yearning to dance in the rain and throw caution to the wind? When it comes to matters of life and love, is experience the enemy?

Would you rather go through life never having experienced real sorrow, real betrayal, real disappointment and retain your happy-go-lucky, everything is going to be okay mentality, or does that same disappointment and pain make the pleasure sweeter?

What would you rather?